How do l get through this?

[Leoni67]

Firstly l'd like to say hello to everyone, l am a new member here and desperatly need help...here is why

In April 2008 my neighbour was shot dead while she lay at my feet begging for her life. I was left standing there wondering what happened not knowing how my life was going to change. Its almost 2 years now and things have changed, l have changed and my life has become extremely hard to cope with. My relationship with my partner has fallen apart due to what has happened and lm lost, l have no where to turn to. I have ended up basically homeless due to not being able to live in that house anymore, he want me out of his life because l reminded him of the murder. The house use to be HIS( my partner) but he had sold it due to his divorce and we were renting it from the new owners. My ex now seems to blame me for loosing his home of 15 years. I have so much l want to say here but thats the basics of why l joined, l admit l have serious issues with life now and l need help.   Just someone to talk to that really knows and understands

Thanks for your time

Leoni

[Ann]

Dear Leoni,

Welcome and well done for being brave enough to join and ask for support.  I am sure we can all reflect on how hard that is to do. 
I am very sorry to hear about your traumatic experience of loosing your neighbour.  No one ever dreams that they will be faced with such horrid circumstances or that they could take such a toll on those left behind.  Those of us who have lived through homicide really understand that these events do have a profound effect on everyone left behind and that sometimes people cope in very different ways.  Which, from the sound of your posting you and your partner have done.

I am not sure were you are located and don’t want you to post it up on here for everyone to see, but if you want to email me with the details (ahadmin@angelhands.org.au) of where you are staying, so I can see what support services there are in that area and we can see about addressing your homelessness and some of the other life issues you said you are dealing with and try to support you through those.

I know for me that initially of losing my loved ones the experience was all consuming and that the flashbacks and fear were major intrusions in my life.  I didn’t think I would ever make it through, but I learnt how to break the day into small segments and get through just one segment at a time.  I came up with the expression that life is like a sandwich- you don’t eat it all in one mouthful, so just take a small bite and keep chewing until you can swallow. 

Please know you are not alone and that there are people here and in other places.  Thank you for writing and please stay in touch.

Warmly yours

Ann